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“Be a proper miss”, a guy once said to me. He made me wonder “What on earth is a proper miss?” Okay, confession time. I am a trouser-wearing, baggy shirt-sporting, guy-strut-style girl, so I might not appear too girly when you see me, but that doesn’t mean I am not a miss.

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When the aforementioned guy told me to be a proper miss, I could not help but wonder what image he had in mind.

Is she a skirt-wearing, trouser-phobic specimen? Does she always have a hairdo? Does she always make her hair into elaborate styles? Is she a make-up evangelist who cannot leave her room until she has completely remodelled her face? On the rare days when she has had no time to make up, does she look like she has been punched in the face? Is she the type who will miss a whole day at school because she has a huge pimple on her forehead? Is she the type who spends hours carving her obtuse-angled eyebrows, but has little time to spare for anything else? Is she the type who is so fashionable that she has forgotten the way God taught her to walk and now walks like she is about to tilt over from drunkenness? Maybe you think I have a personal vendetta against ladies who use make up but you are wrong. I actually love it when a lady can make herself look good; so good that even I, a fellow lady have to look at her twice. The issue I have is how some ladies now totally depend on make up to look good. I dislike how ladies now act like their lives depended on the angle of their eyebrows, the shade of their lipstick, and the longevity of their hair extensions.

Maybe the proper miss is one who does not even use make up. Is she one who wears terribly short gowns? Are her clothes so tight that she looks like she was melted and then poured into the clothes? Is she one who only carries handbags and says it is boyish to carry a backpack? Is she one who would rather walk than ride a bicycle because cycling, according to her is “un-ladylike”? Is she one who does not speak her opinions for fear of being unpopular? Is she one who will wear outrageous clothing just to appeal to the opposite sex? Is she one who is so frail-minded that she cries when she is insulted? Does she have a tiny, shrill voice that begs, desperately pleads to be heard? Is she one who meets a guy on a Monday, concludes she is in love with him on Wednesday and breaks up with him the following Monday? Is she the type who thinks that all a guy can be is a source of money, a “maga”?
Is she one who cowers before men because she is supposed to be submissive and ends up being vulnerable to abuse? Is she one who believes that her career ends in the kitchen? Is she one who thinks all she was created for was to procreate? Is she one whose idea of a perfect future is “A loving husband and four wonderful kids, preferably two boys and two girls”?

Gone are the days when a proper lady had to wear ball gowns, girdles, knickers and all such constricting attires. Today, a proper miss is not just one who dresses well, speaks well, or does an excellent make up. A proper miss is one who has confidence in her abilities. She is one who has a dream that is beyond just the kitchen and works towards it. She is one who realises that one day; she will be a wife and a mother and spends her youth preparing for it. She does not end up a liability to her husband, but is a great asset.

What’s your idea of a proper miss?


6 thoughts on “THE PROPER MISS

  1. Hi,

    Hmmm… thought provoking piece. The Proper Miss, the way that you’ve described her, seems to have her hang-ups. 😀

    To me, the Proper Miss is lady-like, gently assertive but very firm about her beliefs, she epitomizes quiet strength and self-validates with confidence.

    She is always well put together, with a demure sense of style. She exudes grace and beauty even when she’s barefaced and without a scrap of make-up.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. A proper miss to me, is one who believes in her abilities through Christ
    thereby making her undefeated.
    in other words she has God-confidence not self-confidence( which could be misinterpreted as pride)
    nice work my tomboy sis


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