ADULTHOOD; A SCAM? 5 Adults Share Their Experiences

Hi there people! *Takes broom and clears cobwebs* (Picture spiders scurrying and insect remains dropping to the floor) It has been one very long minute!😊 This space has been quiet for a while. Hmmn.

This girl here has had a lot on her plate, and the blog had to go catch a few winks. Adulting eh… No be small thing. When we were little and asked what we wanted to be  when we grew up, many of us would list a string of professions in a heartbeat. “Doctor and shoemaker, and trader and mechanic and footballer!” 😂😂😂 Few years down the line, we begin chanting, “Adulthood is a scam! Adulting has no manual! How did I get here? I don’t know now what to do with my life!”

It’s easy to think you are alone in the adulthood situation and be depressed because of it. But if you get out there and talk to people, you’ll realize that everyone else is in the same shoes; nobody has their whole life figured out!

I decided to get five people’s opinions on adulthood. These five people are from different walks of life, with different experiences and outlooks. I hope you enjoy reading their responses. (Warning: LONG POST)

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Debby; Blogger

1. Are you closer to 20 or 30?
I’m closer to my twenties.
2. Did you look forward to being and adult when you were a child?
I did look forward to being a young adult, but I didn’t envisage middle age adulthood.
3. Why?
The young adults around me then were all so pretty, cool and confident and that was appealing to me.
4. What aspects of being an adult did you look forward to?
I wanted to make my own decisions. Adulthood seemed more like curating your own life and that was appealing. I wanted to be a cool young adult.
And I wanted to look pretty, and make pretty hairstyles of my choice.
5. Is your adult life anything like you imagined?
Ah, this is an incredible question. I think yes, actually. I’ve met a number of children and teenagers who look at me with stars in their eyes. That must count for something, right?
More importantly though, I honestly think my life now is better than I envisaged then because I didn’t phantom the depths of riches I would discover in Christ. I didn’t know that there were real depths in Christ which I am now experiencing. All I had thought of prior to entering university for example, was to be a cool person drinking coffee and having book club meetings with other intelligent people. Different ball game, my people.
6. What differences are there? (Expectations VS reality)
The difference is that adulthood comes with responsibilities. Responsibilities in coordinating your own future. Responsibilities in navigating relationships together with the many many sacrifices that come with having relationships with people.
Also, some of the hairstyles you once envisioned you’ll be making at will are not so easy to make because they cost a lot of moneeeeeey.
7. Are you enjoying your adult life?
Yes I am.
8. Would you return to childhood if given the chance?
No. I have discovered that my current stage at life would always be my best stage. Life won’t necessarily get better if I  return to childhood – it would still be inundated with a bit of shyness, lack of control over my own life, a reversal to the stage where I didn’t like semovita and yams (which I now do). See, it doesn’t get better in childhood. No, I won’t return.
9. What advice would you give your teenage self?
I wrote a letter like this on my blog (https://debbyhub.com/2018/01/27/boarding-house-reflections-3/). It can be summarized into this: Don’t stop having a golden heart no matter what. No matter what. There’s a purity of heart that a child has, keep it.
10. Do you think adulthood is a scam, or overrated?
When you’re younger, your perception of it is definitely overrated but I don’t think anyone is necessarily responsible for that. Its just the thinking of a child.
I don’t suppose adulthood is a scam because people do change as they mature.
11. Anything I didn’t ask that you’d like to say?
Dear adults, let’s be kinder to each other, okay? Let’s become friends simply by ~building sand castles again~ conversing, and let’s forgive as rapidly as we blink. Let’s think highly of each other, because love believes all things.
Let’s make adulthood more fun than childhood, and let’s make more impact for the generations to come.

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Fola; Biomedical Researcher
1. Are you closer to 20 or 30?
😏…
2. Did you look forward to being an adult, when you were a child?
No, I didn’t. I enjoyed my childhood to the point that I didn’t know how and when I became an adult.
3. Why?
I think I already answered that 😁
4. What aspects of being an adult did you look forward to?
Like I said, I was so focused on enjoying the moment. If at all there was something I looked forward to, I would say it was about the part of being a career person but I am not sure I placed so much on that.
5. Is your adult life anything like you imagined?
Honestly? I don’t think I have started being the real adult 😂, I still feel like I am between being an adult and being a child. Don’t get me wrong, according to several measures by different organizations or bodies, I am fully an adult but in my mind, I am so not worked up about the adult thing yet. So, right now, is my adult life anything like I imagined? I can’t say for now. There is still so much ahead of me that will make me say to myself that it is not healthy for me to have already started measuring myself up. I am taking responsibilities, yes, but I am not ready to start doing serious measurements and I feel this might weigh me down quickly.
6. What differences are there? (Expectations VS reality)
Decision making is a big difference I am living it, doing what needs to be done in preparation for the next thing. The reality is so different between being below 10 years and the age I am now. Then, most of the time I didn’t have to worry about the next thing, my parents did most of the work on that then. Right now, I make decisions myself and all my parents do is just to hear about the plans and give some amount of guidance and support. I did not expect so much, so the reality isn’t getting me by surprise.
7. Are you enjoying your adult life?
I have not even entered it fully yet 😁.
8. Would you return to childhood if given the chance? Maybe, maybe not, I might only feel like going back to some years and then doing some things differently but still, man’s focused on enjoying the present and also setting up the future right from now.
9. What advice would you give your teenage self?
What I have always worked with: open your eyes and see wide! Do not let a single happening (good or bad) feel like everything. There is so much to do and there is so much greatness to bring out from within me. Jesus, while he was on earth, was said to have gone all about doing good. He kept on doing good : teaching, healing, raising the dead, etc, but he didn’t allow all those great stuff to pin him down, there was yet a greater one and that was his focus. So, I’ll keep telling myself not to be carried away by all the happenings right now. If bad happens, I push myself to victory over it. If good happens, I celebrate it and use it as a building block to the next one till the whole building is complete and even when the building is complete, man still has to keep filling it up with great stuff…. So, there is always work and just one or two or three sleepless nights will not kill.
10. Do you think adulthood is a scam, or overrated?
Well, none of the above. It is just a serious business I think.
11. Anything I didn’t ask that you’d like to say?
😁 There is always work and we do successful work intentionally, not by chance.

Henry; Philosopher

1. Are you closer to 20 or 30?
A: 30.
2. Did you look forward to being an adult, when you were a child?
A: Not really.
3. Why?
A: Fear of responsibility and most of the adults around weren’t so awesome.
4. What aspects of being an adult did you look forward to?
A: Respected simply for being an adult (I was a child lol); plus not having to answer to certain people.
5. Is your adult life anything like you imagined?
A: Hell no
6. What differences are there? (Expectation vs reality)
A: Expectation: a professional career or at least keeping up with my peers
Reality: Not even close to it.
7. Are you enjoying your adult LIFE?
N to the O
8. Would you return to childhood if given the chance?
No
9. What advice would you give your teenage self?
A: Be a bit more decisive don’t depend on the adults around you to give you advice when you already know what is best for you. The reverence given to people just because they are grown up is a scam.
10. Do you think adulthood is a scam, or overrated?
A: Only if you were duped into thinking life is fair.
11. Anything you’d like to say that I didn’t ask?
Yeah. Young peoplle need serious mentorship in the country. Most young minds go to wasted because they aren’t mentored properly.

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Chidinma; Economist, Budding Chartered Accountant

1. Are you closer to 20 or 30?
Closer to 20
2. Did you look forward to being an adult, when you were a child?
Yes, couldn’t wait.
3. Why?
Because I felt adults had almost every aspect of their life figured out.
4. What aspects of being an adult did you look forward to?
* The freedom and independence, majorly.
* The ability to make decisions solely
5. Is your adult life anything like you imagined?
If I could rate it on a scale of 100%, my reality is about 60%.
6. What differences are there? (Expectation vs reality).
I don’t have everything figured out yet.
No 100% freedom yet.
7. Are you enjoying your adult life?
To an extent, yes.
8. Would you return to childhood if given the chance?
Yes, for a few months.
9. What advice would you give your teenage self?
Stop worrying and live the moment.
10. Do you think adulthood is a scam, or overrated?
It’s scam,you don’t have everything figured out all at once just because you are grown up.

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Korede; Food Technologist, Car Enthusiast
1: Are you closer to 20 or 30?
Closer to 20
2. Did you look forward to being and adult, when you were a child?
Of course I did, everyone did.
3. Why?
Childhood seemed a lot of stress, I most of all hated the feeling of waking up and remembering that I had to go to school and then, secondary school was hell, you didn’t need to do anything to be a candidate of flogging.
Another thing was the privileges that came with adulthood; like eating choice portions of food, your ability to contribute in some family meetings.
4. What aspects of being an adult did you look forward to?
Independence, respect and money making.
5. Is your adult life anything like you imagined?
A lot different, at least for now.
6. What differences are there? (Expectations VS Reality)
Adulthood is a an entirely different ball game, the first shocker that came was the independence. I used to think that independence was a luxury, but then I found out it was a different level of stress. With your supposed freedom came a need for responsibility, first to yourself, then, to your environment. Every decision you make in adulthood has to first be screened by your values, then, you’ll check the appropriateness of the decision worth your environment…
In the end, you’ll find out that the freedom is only a farce, someone will still tell you what to do; whether it be the government, the church, your values, your friends etc.
The other real blow came when I took on a job to fend for myself. On a very sincere note, the supposedly difficult book reading is ten times easier than making money, especially when you’re working hard and not smart.
But, needless to say, adulthood is very interesting and likeable too, it has a lot of advantages, it gives the leverage to try out a lot of things that were deemed risky for children.
7. Are you enjoying your adult life?
Yes I am; a whole lot. And it’s not like I have a choice😂😂😂
8. Would you go back to childhood, if given the chance?
Yes I would, I would go back and enjoy my childhood as much as possible and also make the necessary sacrifices that would have made life easier for me now, built the right relationships, ran fiercely away from the toxic ones I entered… Yes I would go back.
9. What advice would you give your teenage self?
Don’t stress too much, enjoy the now, read your books, have a balanced life, pray and read your bible more because you’ll need God so much, get involved in a lot of meaningful secular (extracurricular) activities, build quality relationships and so many more.
10. Do you think adulthood is a scam, or overrated?
Depends on the perspective you’re viewing it from, but then, almost everything about life is overrated, except God, so we can dismiss it as a Yes.
11. Anything I didn’t ask that you’d like to say.
All I would advice is that we all should not get so caught up in our quest for the future that the present loses its value, let’s learn to take life one step at a time, enjoy a stage, but once you begin to outgrow it, move immediately to the next.
Every stage of life is supposed to be fun and to equip you for the next, that anticipated future will soon be here, prepare for it, and while you’re doing that, jayé orí ẹ.*

And… It’s a wrap! You see? Nobody has life figured out. And like they say, we are on different journeys with different timelines. So do yourself a favour; enjoy your life, at every stage!

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Please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments. It would be an absolute pleasure to hear from you!

*Jay é orí ẹ : Yorùbá term meaning, “Enjoy yourself!”

7 thoughts on “ADULTHOOD; A SCAM? 5 Adults Share Their Experiences

  1. This piece is thought provoking to say the least, I have never thought so many individuals have this perspective of just waking up one day and realizing that you have to get new shoes because the ones you had don’t fit any longer or get new dresses because any one you try on, you can’t breathe well in it or even realizing that one meat is isn’t enough to satisfy you *smiles*, all am trying to say is you discover that you’re all grown up and you’ve made little or no preparation for. The reality is, some of us realize these things early during our teenage life and some late, the truth is that you don’t have total control over your childhood so going back might not make much difference. The important thing is that as soon as you realize where you are, start working on yourself and how you want your adult hood turnout. I will leave you with a wise saying which goes thus: “Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up knowing it must outrun the fastest lion 🦁 in order to stay alive, likewise for the lion 🦁, it wakes up knowing it must outrun the fastest gazelle in order not to starve to death, now it’s doesn’t matter if you’re a gazelle or a lion 🦁, when the sun ⛅ comes up, you better be running”.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well adulthood is a scam and not a scam. what i mean is this if you don’t prepare to take on responsibilities of an adult you will feel frustrated about being an adult. i enjoyed my childhood as i much as i could, however being an adult now is an entirely different ball game. But like the other persons said don’t fixated so much on the future that you forget to enjoy the present, it is one step at a time. Thank you Eniola for this piece

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree with you. Preparing for the new phase as an adult really helps with keeping a positive outlook when it gets tough. Thank you so much for your fresh perspective, Salome. ❤️

      Like

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