They say “Be yourself”, but they don’t ever wonder if you even know yourself. How can you be you if you are a stranger to yourself?
I know we will continue to learn ourselves as long as we live, but right now, our mastery of our persons is at different levels. While some people are complete strangers to their own selves, constantly surprising themselves with their words and actions, perhaps you’re more acquainted with yourself, but only in the way you are acquainted with the Mai Suya at the road junction. Or if you’re more lucky, you know yourself like you know your BFF. Well, a lot of us are still in the first phase of friendship with ourselves, examining ourselves like a new purchase at the mall; wondering, “Hmmn, looks nice…wonder what else it does apart from look good?”
I don’t know what phase I am in with myself, but I do know that I am getting familiar with myself. When I was younger, all I wanted to do was be a doctor and write. Then, years ago, I wanted to write, be a health practitioner, and do fashion. If you had asked me last year, I would have told you I wanted to do fashion, public health and writing. Sounds crazy, yeah? And that’s just one facet (the career aspect) of my life. Now imagine the rest such as spirituality, interrelations, etc etc… 😓 All of these other pursuits and passions require time and attention to grow, and it is only expected that this space would go quiet for a little while, while I built my friendship with the new me I was discovering. I did not stop writing entirely, even though I stopped posting here. I was just discovering the new ways I write, and getting used to them.
I am trying to be the me-est me I could ever be, and sometimes, this will take me away. I have however realized that I still want to put things here for people to read. Your constant reminders that rats and spiders had taken over my blog kept me eager to return. I can’t promise consistent posting yet though; I am still getting to know the consistent me, hehe. But I do know that I really want to reawaken this space.
How have you been? Are you still you? Have you discovered new versions of yourself? Would you still like to read something written by this constantly morphing Nigerian youth, or have you discovered a new you?